The following diary notes were redacted from an appointment book and e-mail posts … enjoy!

So anyway, I am explaining "pasta putanesca" to Meg Ryan ... what? Putanesca or Meg Ryan?  Oh, you want me to start from the beginning?

OK ... it is Saturday night.  Dangerboy and I are supposed to go out with Amber to paint the town red ... you know, find some super-models like Kirstie Hume (I still want to meet her boyfriend, the son of Donovan "Mellow Yellow" Leitch) and go clubbing.

However, I am not feeling so hot and Amber is nowhere to be found (she may be in the Hamptons).  So Danger and I decide to have a simple dinner at Da Silvano's.  This place has been around for probably 20 years or so.  Ralph Taylor knows all about it; David Littler lived down the street from it when he lived with John Hood on King Street.

Side note to David: there was no one home at 49 King.  All I could see was one bare (yes, bare!) lightbulb hanging from the rafters.  At first I thought that perhaps no one lived there anymore; but I could see a painting hanging over the fireplace.  So maybe it was just their security light or something.  But a bare bulb?!?

Anyway, Danger and I are seated.  I know I love Ahnell's; but I was in the mood for some oysters and Da Silvano has a great vinaigrette for them.

We immediately order the same Tuscan wine we had last time by Terra Bianco, a superb red table wine.  I have the Pacific oysters, a half order of pasta putenesca and a veal sort-of scallopine over polenta (more on the polenta later).  Danger goes for mussels steamed in white wine and herbs (amazing) and pounded veal with salad over it (beyond the beyond, as Albert O used to say).

Of course, we discuss the current state of affairs of Aerosmith, the band that Danger works for.  The rumors of their slipping back into drugs are false, by the way.  Although their tailor recently refitted a jacket for Keith Richards immediately after he left the stage, and the pockets were FILLED with drugs!  So there is your truth for the day!

Speaking of rock stars, and a complete non sequitor, Danger saw Iggy Pop on Avenue A on Thursday evening.  And he was not exactly walking a straight line!  Coincidentally, I dreamt of Jimmy the very same night (weird, huh?)  You may remember that I interviewed him a long time ago and he was an absolute gentleman.

So we're past the appetizer and I have finished my pasta course (a traditional Italian method) when in walks Meg Ryan and Dennis Quaid.  Since Danger knows the waiter, they are seated right next to us.  Now, if you know Da Silvano, this means we are seated RIGHT next to them with less than a thin person's body between tables.

First off, Meg is as beautiful as you would hope.  And both of them are as nice as can be.  What did they talk about?  Careers.  Meg was discussing a movie role she is looking into and Dennis was explaining how movie careers have peaks and valleys and how to deal with them.  Perhaps not the type of conversation any of us are about to have, yet there was nothing arrogant in their talk.

During their ordering, Meg asked the waiter (Danger's friend Ian) what the pasta putanesca was all about (it was described on the menu as "whore's sauce" which is the definition of putanesca).  She like the idea that it was spicy so I had my opportunity to lean over and tell her that Da Silvano made a very good one and that she would enjoy it.

No one had to make a big deal out of the fact that we knew who they were.  I believe there was no way for them not to know that we knew, yet they were just like any other couple that would sit next to you at a restaurant.

I of course was star struck like usual.  Hopefully I did not show it; nonetheless, we did stay for three after dinner drinks!

Oh, yes, the polenta.  My mother has been saying for ages that no one makes polenta like her mother.  Most of the time is looks like a piece of bread (which it is).  Her mother made it like morning oatmeal, very mushy.  Guess what?  That is how Da Silvano makes it!  So I got some to take home to her and just finished showing it to her.  She will have it for lunch tomorrow.

Yes, there are times that even I, Ms. Pollyanna, think that life is mundane.  But it isn't, is it?  Life is truly wondrous.  No matter what you think of Meg Ryan and Dennis Quaid, for me life doesn't get better than this.

Plus the protease inhibitors are working!  T-cells now at 30 (after 3 years of being at 4, out of a possible 1600 or so for you) and viral load still at undetectable.  Wait, I hear the voice of King David whispering in my ear ... Thank you God!!!!!

Also, in September, I join the Trinity choir which lasts for a couple of years until I move totally into NYC with Bryan.

November 1–9

When last we left, um, me (well, it is my post after all) I was lying on the floor in pain from a brutal virus.  Thank God, of the two that were going around I had the short duration one.  That was the weekend before Election Day.  By Monday I was better and by Tuesday (the 5th) I was at the polls at 8 am.  Yes, I voted for the Democratic slate, but you knew I was a registered Democrat so no surprise there.

That night we had a long awaited Worship Committee meeting (certainly the most interesting of the ones at the church, for me at least) to determine the order of the next few months.  The next few days were quiet: a St. Barnabas meeting on Wednesday, Frank Loyacano for dinner on Thursday before the choir rehearsal and then drinks at choirmaster Jim Lenney’s afterward with his friend Jamie.  As I turned out to be the only guest that night, they held me captive for longer than usual and forced many martinis down my throat.

Caught up on all the taped tv shows laying around the floor and watched the first part of Star Trek: Voyager.  It was a great episode featuring Ed Begley, Jr. as a time traveler who sends them all back to 1996 LA.  I really think it was one of the best episodes they have had (including part two the following week).  Try to catch it in reruns, even if you say you do not like Star Trek.

Saturday, November 9 ... lunch in NYC with “Uncle” Ralph Taylor who was attending a show at the Javits Center.  I pick him up around noon and we have a great lunch at Food Bar in Chelsea.  Myers Rum pina coladas start us off and the staff was, well, beautiful.  Recommended for those of you in the area; decent unpretentious food.  I had been there twice before, once with Ted Smith.

That evening, about 15 of us from the church went to see Max McLean in his dramatic one-man performance of “The Acts of the Apostles” about half an hour away in Madison.  Previously McLean has performed the Gospel of Mark and Genesis.  Very compelling!  Perhaps it is my competitive spirit, but I plan on being equally as good when Craig+ (our rector) and I do it in December at Trinity.

November 10–21

Sunday, November 10 ... An easy day on Sunday prefaces a very busy week ... Amy Cornell comes over Monday to help work on Connections (our church newsletter) and then she and her mother join me and my mother for dinner at The Porch at the Cranford Hotel (not that there has been a hotel for the last fifty years) and then off to bible study on Revelation.

Tuesday, November 12, at night is a bible study on the Old Testament.  Wednesday night, while the vcr’s are taping Voyager pt 2 and the season premier of the Larry Sanders show (ok, ok and the Real World on MTV), I go into NYC to join Dangerboy for food and movie.  Food is at the Mexican restaurant around the corner from the Angelika (possibly the best assortment of movies in the city).  We have many, many margaritas and then to see “Romeo and Juliet” with Leonard diCaprio.  I definitely think he is the best actor of his generation, now that I have seen him in a variety of roles.  Move over James Dean!

Quick review:  I think the movie is absolutely incredible.  If you cannot stand MTV style editing, then you may feel differently.  But I think the treatment and the acting were top-notch.  It is one of the few films that I will buy when it comes out on video.  Keep an open mind and go see it.  We stop off at Café Bar on Houston after for a couple of bourbons; and yes, I was very late for work the next morning!

Thursday, November 14, I had Michael Gow and Doug & Donna Reagan over the house for Mom’s famous macaroni.  We are all in the choir together and while the plan was for Mike to give me a tutorial in MS Publisher and Doug to patch the weirdness in my MS Word (hush, you MAC users!) we wind up yapping and eating instead.  Much more important, I think!  Later, after choir practice, Doug & Donna and I go to Jim and Jamie’s where I am slightly more behaved than the previous night.

It all catches up with me by Friday, and the only thing I can do that evening is stay home to watch the Dallas re-union movie.  As some of you know, I was a total Dallas (and Falcon Crest) addict – not Dynasty as you might think.  So of course I liked it.  Extremely quiet Saturday (dinner with the folks at local Italian restaurant where we drink a superb 1985 wine given to me by Ralph Taylor (see above).

Sunday, November 17 ... It is a singing Sunday as our choir joins choirs from the Roman Catholic, Presbyterian, Methodist and Lutheran churches of Cranford in a community performance.  Each choir did two songs of their own tradition and then the combined choirs did three songs together.  I had a wonderful time singing.  I must give credit to John Beier and John Zebrowski, my two fellow basses.  They have made it incredibly comfortable for me to sing.  I have never sung outside a bathroom before this year and I do not think I would have been able to without these two wonderful gentlemen helping me.

My plans on Sunday night were to stay home and finish Connections.  However, our rector called to say he had not yet finished his column.  What to do?  It turns out he and his wife Judith were going to see “Twelfth Night” – the other William Shakespeare film out now (with Helena Bonham Carter).  This one is set in the late 1800s and is a comedy of mistaken identity (and gender!).  If “Romeo and Juliet” is too fast for you then this is the one to see.  I recommend seeing both, however.

Thursday, November 21 brings choir practice again.  Because of a slowness of work, my company will be closed all next week so Sunday and Monday I plan to be in Boston (if the weather holds out) and then back on Tuesday to see Fear Factory (another favorite of mine – from SoCal like Tool – I have to see lead singer Burton C. Bell) in NJ.  Unfortunately, I think that means I will be missing both of my usual bi-weekly bible studies.

November 22 to December 6

Friday, November 22 ... This looks to be an unusual day already as it starts by shopping and then only two hours of work at the shop.  By 2 PM I am on my way to the Amboy cinema to see the world premiere of Star Trek: First Contact with my friend Amy Cornell from church.  She has a bunch of free tickets and I am attending with her friends.  Needless to say, I love the movie and would recommend it even if you do not care for Star Trek products.

The movie starts at 4:30 so when it ends at 6:30 I have to jump in the car and race up the Turnpike and through the Holland Tunnel to pick up Dangerboy and get up to Roseland on 52nd street in time to see Psychotica (what David Bowie wishes he were doing now) and Tool (my favorite band of the last couple years) at Roseland.

Then it is off to the Blue Water Grill in Union Square for dinner.  You may remember it from an earlier post from a dinner with Ralph Taylor and John deCarlo.  The restaurant is just as good the second time around (in between it has been raved over by Ruth Reichl in the NY Times).

Then to see Danger’s pet band Clowns for Progress at a small club on the Lower East Side.  They’re an up and coming band; straight forward rock and roll with a killer cover of the Who’s “Kids are Alright.”  Slightly after they go on (around 12:30) they casually mention the 23rd anniversary of the assassination of John F. Kennedy.  I am now at the age when half the people I know remember where they were that day, the other half were not even born.

I am home around 3 – exhausted – and to a message on my machine that my friend Amy Madden had passed away.  She had been battling the virus valiantly but simply could not tolerate that many types of drugs available to possible save her.  I will not attend the wake or funeral because of being in Boston.

A weekend in Boston, November 24–26

Sunday, November 24 ... After church, I drive up to Boston and arrive 6 pm at Jeff Marshall’s.  Go to dinner with him and Bill and Alice Abbate as well as with Jeff Berlin and his wife Robyne Tanner, whom I have not seen in awhile.  We eat at Fajita’s and Rita’s (yes, the marga- kind) in Brookline.  Hang out at Jeff’s afterwards instead of clubbing.

Monday, November 25 ... Thai food lunch with Jeff, then book shopping at Glad Day (the gay bookstore of Boston).  At 4, Ali (Jeff’s girlfriend) joins us and we go to see Star Trek: First Contact.  I have no objection to seeing it again and hope for a couple more times.  After the movie, we go to Apetito on Appleton St in the South End for northern Italian with Jeff and Ali and special guest Albert O.  Albert, who shares a birthdate just a couple different from me, has shared a great many years on early radio with me and now is the overnight dj on WBCN, Boston.  He is also an old and dear friend.  We retire without Albert to Jeff’s to watch “The Phantom” with Billy Zane on video ... boring if campy.

Tuesday, November 26, lunch with Jeff and Ali at Thornton’s on Peterboro street at I have to pick up a snowboard to take to NYC for Dangerboy.  Then the drive home to nj.  Stop in NYC on the way down to drop off snowboard and wind up having dinner with Danger at Tio Pepe’s in Greenwich Village.  I have had dinner with the Abbate’s there before (remember?).  Arrive home around 10 pm to crash.

Thanksgiving Weekend in Key West

Wednesday, November 27 ... try to get affairs in order before trip.  Do not have chance to see brother in hospital (aspirin on top of ulcer, not too smart) but he is ok and has a million people there.

Thanksgiving, November 28 is at Aunt Annie’s as it is every year.  A little smaller as cousin Carol D'Agostino does not bring husband Tom (divorced) but does bring the two kids, Matt (who has the same record collection as me) and Nicole.  Mario is still in hospital (his wife Mary Kay stays with him) so I just round out my parents and Carol’s parents.  Nonetheless, we have a great time.  Home early, around 6, and then to bed by 10.

Friday, November 29 ... At 6 am, a car comes to take me to airport where I get on 7 am flight to Key West.  Only we do not leave until 8:30 which means I miss my 11 am connector in Miami which means I am not poolside with a drink until after 3 pm when it should have been noon.  There are worse things to complain about, especially as the weather is gorgeous.

So by 4 pm I am unpacked at the Oasis House (very nice, all men, etc) and then downtown to have drinks at the new Epoch (which has attempted to replace the burned-down Copa, one of my favorite clubs in the world) and then back to a fashion show at my B&B.  And guess whose room the models use as a dressing room?  Well, mine was poolside after all!

We all had fun and I found myself (in shades of cheap dimestore romance novels) attracted to our night manager/cruise director Michael; so I spent most of the evening with him after Chinese food (at one of the few non-touristy restaurants).

Saturday, November 30 and Sunday, December 1 ... I spend the weekend like I planned.  Much laziness, lying by the pool, read three books, shopping, take out spaghetti and mb from Mangia Mangia (and eat with Michael) on Sat night.  Sunday night I eat alone at Alexander’s Diner (spinach ravioli with pesto, yum!) and bring food back to – well, you get the idea.  I do realize that this whole side thing is just that – there is no depth to this at all but it does add something to the weekend.

Monday, December 2 and Tuesday, December 3 ... rather uneventful as I decide to spend most of it by myself, except for a glorious dinner at Antonia’s on Duvall Street after drinks at Epoch.  This was odd though – it was a benefit for “Duckie” a senior citizen who was a diabetic.  He lost his leg because he would not stop drinking.  So the benefit was to buy him a prosthetic leg!  The wheeled him around the party with him in fine sorts.  Quite strange.

Flight back to NJ was also delayed (I do not blame American except for coincidence) which meant I was unable to do my dual reading of the Gospel of Mark with Craig Wylie+.  But no one but his parents showed up!  What does this say about people’s desire to hear this?  Is it more about the time (Tues at 7 pm)?

I have been a touch under the weather since returning (no surprise there) but had time to get a new tattoo.  Perhaps you are familiar with the cross on my leather jacket (given to me by Mark Enos, its previous owner)?  Everyone always asks about it – we think it’s African or Ethiopian.  Anyway, a perfect replica of it now rests about four inches below the center of my neck on my back.  It’s so good, someone described it as “holographic.”  Steve Ferguson of the Ink Spot did an incredible job!

December 1996

Events in December include a visit to the retinal opthamologist which indicates that the Crixivan has helped eliminate any hiv eye problems – great news!  Father Craig and I recite the Gospel of Mark on three consecutive Tuesdays to an incredible size audience (namely only five people on the second time, only Craig’s parents on the first and only he and I and God on the third).  They don’t know what they missed!

Monday, December 16, my St. Barnabbas hiv group had a buffet luncheon at The Manor, basically a wedding reception place but perhaps the best of its kind in the tri-state area.  About a dozen of us got together and shared food and emotions.  Just wonderful.

Friday, December 20, I took the Amtrak to Boston to attend the Annual Christmas Party at Jeff Marshall’s.  Jeff and Alli put out the most incredible spread anyone could hope to see, including excellent champagne, individual lobster quiches and more – all handmade by them!  The guests were all close friends, including Oedipus, Albert O, Bill and Alice Abbate (with Zack, their son), Jeff Berlin (his wife Robyne couldn’t make it), Brother Cleve and more.  This is a closed party, so please don’t feel bad if you weren’t invited.  I’m surprised Jeff could handle all the people who were!  His new apartment in Brookline is absolutely gorgeous and I get my own room when I’m up there!

Everyone had an amazing time, getting to know the people that we didn’t know or re-acquainting ourselves with those we hadn’t seen in years.  For instance, I saw Robin Lane (of Chartbusters fame) who is now married to Ducky Carlisle, a producer who works with Jeff.  She was totally famous 15 years ago but did we talk about music?  No, we spoke of our journeys of faith – a conversation that spread through many we spoke with (sorry, Jeff, for mixing religion with partying!).

Suffice it say, it was the party of the year.  Thank you Jeff and Alli !!!

Also suffice it say it took me four days to recover ... so now we are at Christmas Day with the traditional Xmas dinner – that’s right, Aunt Annie’s lasagna!  Yes, the same crew as always, my parents, Dad’s sister Rosie (the Evangelical who’s probably more theologically liberal than anyone you’ve met – she understands that love is the basis of our faith), cousin Carol (without former husband) and her two incredible kids, Nicole and Matt (whom you’ve read about before in these posts).  And yes, it seems Matt and I still have the same taste in music which shows that you don’t have to grow old and moldy in rock’n’roll!

The next night Carol and I go out with cousin Patty for dinner and drinking and dancing.  These two really are responsible for raising me (they’re about 8-10 years older than me) so blame them if you don’t like me!

Sunday, December 29 ... drive to Boston for two days as Mark Enos (my ex) has flown in from Colorado (where he lives with his lover) for his brother’s wedding.  I pick him up at 2 pm along with Jeff Marshall and we drive to the historic Blackburn Tavern in Gloucester, now owned by my college friends Bob and Joanne Vallis (owners of the castle on Wingaersheek Beach).  They have done a wonderful job with it, and the food was incredible.

Sunday night, Mark and I go out for a private dinner at Pacifico’s in Brookline – insanely good food and then we go out to gay night at Avalon, the big club on Lansdowne Street where I used to work.  I fall in love with the dancers ... ooops, get back on track ...

Monday, December 30, Mark Enos and I hang with Jeff Berlin and his wife Robyne Tanner at their home and then Mark goes off to the airport and I stay overnight at Jeff Marshall’s before driving home to join my brother and his wife’s in-laws for New Year’s Eve at Le Rendezvous, a great new French restaurant near our house.  If you’ve seen “Big Night” you know the type of place – two Egyptian brothers own and operate it so it was just like the movie!

I see the ball drop alone at home at midnight ... just how I like it.  And that, dear reader, takes us through to the new year.  More to come ... including the incredible trip to Los Angeles in the middle of January and a change in my life that no one could expect, particularly me.  Peace, tony